Party in My Purse

Sometimes I carry a big handbag. The problem is that in that handbag, things tend to get lost. There must be an entire parallel universe in there, or maybe a similar vortex to the one that removes one sock from every pair I put in the dryer. But large or small, no matter what I'm looking for in the big bag, I have to grab everything else in there until I unlock the magic that releases the item I wanted in the first place.

Often, the thing that I lose is my cell phone, and when I root around in there to find the phone, or anything else, I accidentally hit the button that turns on my camera. Most of the time, I just get a random, dark, blurry shot of the physical inside of the bag.

But today, I got this:


I dunno what the heck is going on in there. No wonder my bag is so freakin heavy.

The Ultimate Whoo-hoo!

Well, there hasn't been much to report over these last...oh eight months or so, but last night I did an offical Hollywood-type thing, so it goes in the Cali-girl blog.

My sister Dana is working for Fox studios these days, and when she took the job I threatened to disown her if she didn't take me to a Simpsons Movie premiere or some other special event to celebrate the greatest show ever created. I've been a massive fan since the day the show first aired in 1989, and have made Sunday night at 8 pm a not-to-be-interrupted special event for the last 18 years. Dana told me that there was very little chance that she had the pull to get us into such a star-studded event, but what she doesn't always fully appreciate is that she is magical. She has this enviable ability to fall into cool things, so I kept my hopes high that something would turn up, and that she would share her yellow, cartoony fortune with me.

Well, Fox put together a big party on the lot to celebrate the show's 400th episode, and though Dana didn't get an invite, her boss did. Luckily for us, her boss couldn't make it, so once again, Dana's fortune shone on us both, and we got our laminated passes for the big event.

Ehhhhksellent!

I gotta say, it was the funniest thing I've seen in forever. The whole place was bedecked in Simpsonery. Intricate balloon versions of all the characters sat on a big porch on the fake studio city scape of the back lot. Costumed characters wandered all around. There were cardboard character cutouts strategically placed throughout the party scene, and facades were erected of some key Simpsons locations. For example, a mock Kwik-E-Mart was set up, where Kwik-E-Klerks gave out Buzz Colas and Squishees. Strangely, the clerks were not dressed like Apu, but the roving coctail waitresses WERE forced to wear large, blue Marge hair wigs (must have been REAL pleasant in the 90-degree heat we were experiencing).

A big livingroom set-up was off to the side, with statues of Marge, Homer, Maggie, Bart and Lisa placed on a huge couch. A spot was saved for party-goers to get their pictures taken on the couch, so I indulged, as you can see.

I also partook of the large spread of Homer's favorite treats (greasy, fried foods including Frying Dutchman-esque, all-you-can-eat fried clams and shrimp nuggets). Little character-themed chocolates were spread over the dozens of tables, which featured weird, green centerpieces adorned with Simpsons gumby-like action figures, that everyone seemed to be stealing. There was also a little candy shop set up, where kids (and immature adults like myself) could make little candy sand-filled test tubes branded for the occasion.

In addition to the costumed characters, some of the real-life stars were on hand as well. Both Matt Groening and Yeardley Smith (voice of Lisa) were being interviewed on camera at the party. Yeardley Smith is the tiniest little woman ever, which is kinda funny coming from little ol, less than five-feet-tall me. I also heard that Hank Azaria was there, though I didn't see him). Groening was just hanging out in a corner in between interviews, and seemed readily approachable. If I had the confidence to be sure I wouldn't just kneel at his feet and pledge my undying, tearful (and likely embarrassing) gratitude for his creation and the joy it has brought to my life, I'm sure I could have walked over and said hi.

Of course, as Simpsons-struck as I was, I still noticed a few glaring omissions that the party planners should be whacked with a snake-whacking stick for making. There was a slideshow projected on a screen with just a few promo pics for the party and the 400th episode, but I think they missed the opportunity for some Simpsons trivia on the screen, or to show scenes or something to entertain the crowd as they sat and waited for the big episode screening (which hadn't happened by the time we left, after 3 hours of hanging around in a Squishee-induced sugar coma). There was a photo booth on site, but there was no Simpsons branding whatsoever on it-- not even a background screen. But the biggest, nearly tragic oversight: THERE WERE NO FREAKIN DONUTS!!! Seriously. There was cake, candy, cotton candy, chocolate, fried food, Squishees, Buzz Cola, a Kwik-E-Mart, a couch-gag set, Simpsons pool tables and foosball tables and blue-haired, drink-toting strumpets, but not a single donut was to be found. There was no Duff Beer either (though there were festive and cartoony-colored mixed drinks and other beers), but I can forgive this. But the donuts? They should have been raining from the sky (a la Treehouse of Terror V), or given out instead of the cake. How 'bout a donut/ring toss for the kiddies? No? Really?

D'oh!